A long time ago, I started up at STS again with the promise to myself that I would not repeat the past: that I would not become a hopeless addict that could not tell the fantasy world I helped create take precedence over the real world that I actually live in. If I felt that this was an issue, or that I wasn't enjoying it anymore, I would simply leave.
And that's precisely what I'm doing right now.
I've played a lot of characters since then: Faedinal Dainori, Darq Tiamat, Camill, Dizaun Cadsane and his various family members, Ferrus Orhimmel, Damhan and numerous NPCs. And I have enjoyed them, to a point. But what I'm finding is that I'm falling in to old patterns. I sit in front of the computer far more than I enjoy my life off of it. I cancel on time with friends to spend time here. That's not the person I want to be, growing old while I sit in my prison cell of a room. As a young man, I have little time to enjoy my youth. It is time to stop acting like the child I was.
The reason I'm leaving now is that the Dragon RP showed me something about the time I spend here. What should have been a fun, interesting event, with lots of opportunity to RP with people I rarely get to, and furthered the story and plot of not only my characters, but everyone else's, and the very town... became something I began to regard as a nuissance. And it took me a while to figure out why. I had become intensely insular. I had fallen into that same trap where I was addicted to a world I didn't live in, and was peeved that other people would 'dare' to interact with it to.
So I quit. Because I think this is best for me, and best for the people who are around me. I feel relieved, if anything, and I hope that for the most part, we can depart as friends -- despite my rather private manner.
That said, I also have a warning to distribute. If I hear anyone blaming someone else for my departure; any bullying and villainizing, I won't hesitate to refer them back to this post. This was my decision. I consulted with no one. No one asked me to leave. I quite literally woke up and decided it was time. And if I do catch word of it, I will also be contacting the Admin. This is a game. It's not real. We're here to enjoy ourselves. So stop acting like children and be the adults most of us are.
Goodbye, and good luck.
~ Bryan Campbell